I relied on plenty of padding and waterproof knickers!

This week’s journal entry is an intimate conversation about what ageing feels like, what she wishes her younger self had known - and the everyday practices she has introduced to stay well.


Q1. Do you remember your menopause transition? If so did you have the support you needed in the medical system but amongst friends too?

I remember that my transition lasted for about 2 yrs. I was just  aware that this would be a stage of life that I would go through. There wasn't much support, but I felt I had a fairly easy ride. I mostly remember irregular and heavy periods.

It wasn't something I'd discussed in advance with my Mum, and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have discussed it with her Mum.

HRT was offered by some doctors, but at the time there were perceived dangers, so one tended only to agree to HRT in extreme circumstances.

There weren't the opportunities to use anonymous forums, and my friends didn't discuss personal matters in detail, so I didn't have many conversations at the time, although I do remember a friend being really self conscious about her hot flushes at work.

Friends in dire need decided to go on HRT, and I do remember a friend searching for Black Cohosh in the health food shop.

I relied on plenty of padding and waterproof knickers!

Q2. Looking back, how do you think your menopause transition impacted you across all facets of your life? From your role as a mother and wife but also your career?

I did make important life changes as a result of menopause.

I have a feeling that this is a time when women become aware of their restrictions and possible opportunities.

Around this time one's 'function' as a mother, if you’ve chosen or had the opportunity to be one, changes. It can be a lonely and directionless time when children leave home, and one is forced to confront the future, and to make new choices.

I love the poster you have in your house which spells this message out so forcefully.

Editor’s note: Rebekah’s house has had the Holstee Manifesto Poster in it from when her children were very small. It reads:

These are very different times.

Q3. What do you know now that you wished you’d known then?

If I could advise my younger self I would say;

1. Now I know that, scary as it seems, the Transition chance is worth taking.
2. This is not the time to worry about what other people might think.
3. You are more beautiful and more powerful than you realise.

Q4. As you stand at the start of your 80th year, what would you want us to know about ageing well? 

1. Well, I consider myself to be lucky to have reached my 80th year in pretty good health. I think this is down to lucky genes and general good luck...many people look after themselves but are unlucky with disease or illness.
2. So eat sensibly, and keep as fit as you can. Most 80yr olds would like to be independent for as long as they can, so they have a responsibility to remain as  healthy as they can too. They don't want to worry their children.
3. Ageing can be lonely as peers die, or become incapacitated, this has been a  sad surprise to me.
4. So enjoy your friends, and importantly, be prepared to make new ones.
5. Treasure your family.
   
   
   So enjoy your friends, and importantly, be prepared to make new ones. 
   Treasure your family.